||[Sep. 22nd, 2023|04:10 pm]
OUT OF CHARACTER
Email/AIM: ihugchickens(@)yahoo.com // ShadesOfFree
Name: Dean Winchester
Point in Canon: He doesn't remember much beyond the end of 4.01 "Lazarus Rising"
Alignment: Heaven / Team Free Will
Powers: Dean doesn’t have any powers. He’s just your average guy, as far as that goes. He’s got some ridiculous skills with a gun, and under the hood of a car, but those are learned skills, not super-powers.
Personality: There are different levels to Dean’s personality. The surface level is lighthearted but rough around the edges, a little rude, a little crude, a lot of bacon cheeseburgers and pie and shooting things and getting pissed off really quickly and putting his feet on the table and leaving his socks in the sink and charming women and eating candy for dinner... He’s not a picture of maturity, really, and he knows it. He’s perfectly okay with that.
At the level just below that, there’s the slightly more sensitive, caring individual. He really does want to help people, and he really does get upset when he fails to do so. This level also features the mild case of PTSD he’s got, after Hell, just under the surface of him, slipping out sometimes when he doesn’t notice it, or when he’s too overwhelmed to keep himself together. This is where his weariness is, the bone-deep tired that has little or nothing to do with a lack of sleep, and everything to do with just life, endless tragedy and pain and death, everything to do with a second lifetime in Hell and the guilt from what he did there that he can’t let go of.
Under that is a deep attachment to family. He’d do anything for them, has done anything for them, for Sam, sold his soul and went to Hell so that his brother would live. This part of him threads so deeply through everything that it’s nearly impossible to beak him of it, even forty years in Hell couldn’t burn it out. This level also hides the part of Dean that lost a mother and the safety of home at a young age, and maybe that’s why he holds so tightly - so irrationally, sometimes - to what family he has left.
Brief History: Dean Winchester’s story starts when he was four years old. Up until that time, he was just an ordinary kid, in an ordinary life, but when he was four there was a fire. It wasn’t a natural fire - a demon started it, a demon killed his mother and burned down his home, and his father put his little brother in his arms and ordered him to run and he did. Ran outside, through the smoke and the fire and he got outside, got them safe. His father, John Winchester, raised them from then on - on the move, on the run, saving people and hunting things, looking for the demon that had killed Dean’s mother.
Life from there was motel room after motel room, was moving town to town to town, school to school. It was learning to shoot a gun at a young age, keeping secrets from Sam for as long as possible, taking care of his brother while their father was out “working”. When Sam finally did find out, he wasn’t happy about it - he saw no appeal to the hunting lifestyle, thought it was dangerous and stupid and terrifying, where Dean saw excitement and a purpose and a way to help people.
Sam turned from a bookworm into a rebellious teenaged bookworm, and things started to get tense - Sam wanted a normal life and normal-people-things and Dean couldn’t give them to him because Dad said no, and Dad and Sam were always fighting. Sam would get upset with Dean because Dean was obeying their father, following orders, doing what he was told. It was what he thought he was supposed to be doing.
That wasn’t to say that Dean was the perfect son, that he never snuck around or did the wrong things, because he did, all the time, but it was all little rebellions - or at least they were little rebellions to John, who didn’t care much about what he did as long as training was done and Sam was safe and they kept a low profile in whatever town they were in.
Sam leaving for Stanford hit Dean hard. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Sam to go to college, it wasn’t that he thought Sam shouldn’t go, or that he needed to stay in this life, because he was happy for his brother he was... it was more the way it happened, with the fighting and their father telling him to stay gone and Sam choosing to do just that, not even calling Dean every now and then, severed ties and didn’t that just figure? He started doing solo hunts, split off from his father at John’s insistence, cover more ground this way and he hated it, but he dealt with it. He could handle it.
John lost contact, though, and that wasn’t a good thing, so Dean swung by Stanford, picked up Sam, and the two of them went looking, just for the weekend, but they didn’t find him. He brought Sam back to the college, and he was going to leave but then... he wasn’t even sure, afterwards, what made him turn around. He didn’t remember, because he got there just in time to pull his brother out of a fire again, but he couldn’t save Sam’s girlfriend, and he was sorry for that but he had his brother so it was okay.
And then it was the two of them, saving people, hunting things, looking for Dad, looking for the demon. And it was good, it was great, and he thought it could only get better - find Dad, find the demon, kill the demon, keep on rolling. But that wasn’t how it went.
Sam started having visions - friggin’ visions, like some kind of freak, wasn’t that just great? And they came true, and he wasn’t the only one, there were others, and Sam was getting all worried... and truth be told, so was Dean. He just did his best to hide that, to be strong for Sammy, keep him optimistic or at least not brooding all the time. Promised nothing bad would happen to him, as long as he was around, and he intended to stick to that.
They found their father, and then they found the demon when it possessed their father, toyed with them both with his face and Dean doesn’t really remember what happened, he just knows that somehow Sam got himself unpinned from the wall, got the gun that could kill demons and he was going to shoot Dad, he was going to kill Dad and the demon and Dean pleaded with him not to, quiet because he was hurt, he was broken, but Sam heard him over Dad’s bellows - shoot me in the heart son - and stopped, and the demon got away.
Dean doesn’t remember the trip from the cabin that happened in to the hospital. There was a car wreck - a demon possessed a truck driver, plowed right into them, and he woke up in the hospital, but he wasn’t in his body, the doctors were saying they didn’t think he’d wake up, and he was being chased by a reaper. It wasn’t the best day ever, but what came next was worse: John sold his soul to bring Dean back. Dean didn’t know it at the time, he just woke up and everything was fine, but John was acting weird - he told Dean that if he couldn’t save his brother, he would have to kill him. Dean didn’t know what the hell to think about that, didn’t want to think about it at all...
...and then Dad died, and Dean pointedly did not fall apart.
That wasn’t to say that he wasn’t broken, though. He was - he was so broken he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he just... didn’t. He buried it as best he could and tried to press on, keep moving. He threw himself into fixing the Impala, rebuilding her, putting the pieces together. Then when that was done, he threw himself into hunting, killing every evil son of a bitch out there. It started to be clearer, though, exactly what had happened - he figured it out, knew that his father had sold his soul for Dean’s life, and he didn’t know how to handle that.
On top of everything, that whole special kids thing was starting to take off, more of them popping up, more of them going bad, someone hunting them, and Sam by association, and Dean was tired of it, he was just tired, and when Sam got infected with a demonic virus, he was done. Sat in the room with his brother and refused to leave, refused to kill Sam before he flipped, just sat with him and hoped he wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore. But Sam was immune, and they moved on.
It all came to a head when Sam was kidnapped by the demon, brought to Cold Oak with a bunch of the other psychic kids. It was a fight to the death, but Dean wasn’t there, didn’t know, he was frantically searching for his brother... and by the time he got there, it was just Sam and one other person left, and he was so glad to see his brother he didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late, couldn’t do more than yell a warning before that other special kid stabbed Sam in the back.
He remembers, vividly, holding his brother up, talking to him - babbling, he doesn’t even know what he was saying, just mindless words to try to keep Sam there with him, hold him there, bring him back - while Sam’s head lolled against him and his body went limp and there was blood on his hands and he was pleading, yelling, crying, but Sam wasn’t moving wasn’t breathing wasn’t there anymore, Sam was dead and he didn’t know what he was supposed to do anymore.
He isn’t entirely sure what happened from there. Bobby came and helped him move Sam, get him outta the mud, boy, into one of the abandoned houses in Cold Oak, and as far as he can remember he spent two days sitting and staring at Sam’s motionless body while Bobby fussed over him in his usual gruff way and tried to make him eat something, drink something other than alcohol. Dean sent Bobby away, and on May 2nd, his brother’s birthday, he sold his soul to a crossroads demon to bring Sam back.
He only got one year until the due date, until his soul would be claimed. He rushed back to where he’d left Sam, and his brother was alive, up and moving around (albeit stiffly, still sore from the wound that had killed him) and that was one of the happiest moments of his life so far, twisted through with something like fear but happy because he’d done the right thing, he’d fixed everything, it was all going to be okay now.
Except not so much.
They killed the demon. Dean did, shot it in the face, watched it’s yellow tint fade out of eyes of the man it was possessing. Their Dad crawled out of Hell to help, disappeared right after, and it was kind of bittersweet, but it was good, and then Sam figured it out, promised he’d break the contract (Dean didn’t want him to, because broken contract meant dead Sam, and he couldn’t do that again).
The next year was spent basically spinning out of control. He overloaded on all the good, killed as many evil sons of bitches as he could, and tried to enjoy life. Sam spent that year with his nose in books, with his eyes glued to his laptop, with this permanent gloom around him, and it was really sucking the joy out of Dean’s last year, man. As the year progressed, he started getting more and more scared about it, but by then it was too late.
Dean went to hell.
Dean came back.
He dug himself out of his own grave, and walked to the nearest sign of civilization - an empty gas station. He took what he needed, felt a little bad for it but there really wasn’t anything else he could do at this point, and then some high-pitched noise started up, glass-breaking, ear-ringing sound that had no clear source.... and then it stopped, and he was more than a little spooked. Even more so by the fact that there was a large handprint-shaped burn mark on his shoulder.
He went to Bobby’s, reconnected with Sam. They met a psychic who said she’d help them figure out what had brought Dean back - and she tried, she almost had it, she got a name, Castiel and then her eyes burned out of her head, and the whole thing was cut a little bit short.
Turns out, Castiel was an angel. Yeah, an angel, seriously, Dean was pretty disbelieving about the whole thing, too. But it eventually made sense, and Castiel said God needed Dean to do His work, and Dean was a little disturbed and confused, but, hey, he was alive, he wasn’t in Hell anymore. Castiel said the apocalypse was nigh, Lilith - the demon who had held Dean’s contract - was breaking the seals that held Lucifer.
...and some other things happened, from there. Things like a certain seal breaking and people from other worlds flooding in, another seal breaking that sent Lucifer walking the earth and dead people coming back. But Dean doesn’t remember all of that - something happened, his head... he doesn’t remember, is the point.
Played By: Jensen Ackles
Third Person: Sample!
(I couldn't find any past-tense!Dean, and this was the most recent Dean I'd written anyway, so. This! <3)
First Person: ...seriously? What the Hell? Sam, why are we in Lawrence?
I don't re Where are you? Why aren't you he